When I was younger, I got it in my head that when I received that precious first pay cheque from my new, shiny, corporate job, I would go out and buy myself a pair of classic, black Louboutin court shoes.
The fact that I have flat feet which feet burn with the intensity of a thousand suns whenever I wear ANY type of heel (even kitten) was besides the point.
It was the principle.
In reality, when that first wad of adult money hit my account, I had just come to the end of a 4 month stint working a shitty call centre job in a vain attempt to scrape together the first half of my half of my rental deposit. The shiny pay cheque covered the rest.
And some pots and pans.
And gold cutlery (this is a judgement free zone).
What followed this bold foray into adulthood (new job, new city, new flat, same boyfriend), was a few months of diligent (read: insane) saving out of an irrational, unfounded fear of losing my shiny new job before my probation period was up.
I saved so much, in fact, that I actually started short changing myself each month.
Having come from a relatively poor family, I have always possessed a rather feast or famine attitude when it comes to money.
I am neither comfortable having it, nor comfortable lacking it, I perpetually swing between extreme saving and extreme spending (aided and abetted not in the least by my anxiety disorder which has decided it is soothed by new shoes).
Thus, naturally, what followed the Great Saving Epoch of 2018, was the golden age of “treat yo self” (2018-present).
If I were to draw what happened over the proceeding 2 years, it would look something like the all-time stock chart for NASDAQ: AMD.
If we are to continue with the same metaphor; I am consequently experiencing the 2008 recession.
Now, I am aware that it is definitely not trendy to admit this, particularly during the rise of “the new face of financial power” (aka Gen Z), and especially during the fall of economic security (COVID-19), but I refuse to believe I am the only one out there with this problem.
In the age of the photoshop, I am showing somethin’ natural like ass with some stretchmarks and admitting to the internet that I AM BAD WITH MONEY.
Bear with me people, there is a point to all this.
So, what did I do to try and turn this ship around?
I backed it up, and reversed it into a little thing called Minimalism.
Now friends, not to burst your bubble, but the journey to a more minimalist life is not at all what these glossy YouTubers would have you think.
It isn’t linear, and it sure ain’t pretty.
And everyone I was watching had already climbed the mountain and tobogganed down the other side.
I started last summer and I AM STILL IN THE THICCC OF IT (with three or more C’s).
I find new homes for things, I make a little money, I breathe a sign of relief and then I hit up the Everlane sale like I’m Bill Gates on acid, taking myself back to square one.
CONSUMERISM. Noun. The buying and using of goods and services; the belief that it is good for a society or an individual person to buy and use a large quantity of goods and services.
My name is OverpackedandUnderpaid and I’m a recovering consumerist.
That is to say, I may be a good writer but I’m a shitty accountant.
Unless you’re Enron, in which case hmu.
Really, the point of all this is to say that none of us are perfect and in fact a lot of us do have some pretty insurmountable flaws.
Even that hot, popular instagrammer that you just wasted your whole morning feeling jealous over might have a closet foot fetish or an addiction to buying creepy china dolls…not that I’m drawing a parallel…between this, or…you get my jist.
I think the important thing is to A) admit you have a problem B) get off your ass and try and do something about it and C) treat your self with a lil slice of loving compassion pie, because, as Ru would say, if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?
Cheers to all you perfect, crazy, flawed, lovely human beings out there.
P.S. Apologies if this post was somewhat senti…I’m gonna relinquish any responsibility and blame it on the current global climate…
P.P.S. Might actually have something to do with the fact I haven’t left my house for anything but the necessary grocery shop for the last 2 (or more, who the fuck knows what day it is at this point) weeks and have been subsisting solely on crisps and chocolate digestives.
P.P.P.S. #STAYATHOME #SAVELIVES
#consumerism #money #milennial #spending #minimalism #shopping #adulting