Freshers Flu 2.0…

I was doing so, so well.

Everyone around me was dropping like flies but I was dodging those germs like a ninja in a laser maze.

*Does Kung Fu Panda pose*

I wasn’t ill for the whole of freshers week…or the week after that…or the week after that…

Until the dreaded superbug emerged: FRESHERS FLU 2.0.

No one is safe.

I’m convinced that the air in every lecture hall I’ve walked into this week has been 99.9% airborne virus and 1% oxygen.

I am now sick with fresher’s flu’s uglier, more contagious cousin, which apparently can’t be cured with antibiotics.

And apparently also impairs what was left of my GCSE maths skills.

When I went to the doctors he told me that I needed to get lots of rest and not overexert myself.

YEAH BECAUSE I’VE TOTALLY BEEN RUNNING AROUND AND IGNORING MY EXTREME LETHARGY, HACKING COUGH, SENSITIVITY TO LIGHT AND NOISE, ACHING MUSCLES AND GENERAL SENSE OF CORPSE-NESS.

When I asked my best friend who’s currently in medical school to cure me…she said she’s not qualified.

WHAT! YOU’RE BECOMING A DOCTOR!

I have a bit of a confession to make…

I’m one of the super annoying people who kind of wants the world to start revolving around them when they’re ill.

If you couldn’t already tell that…from the shouty capitals..

All activities must be suspended in favour of showering me with pity and get well soon soup!

…yup.

Sorry.

I may as well just walk around wearing this:

Patient : Tell me doctor, is this flu serious?
Doctor : Well I wouldn’t advise you to start watching any serials on TV.

I’ve watched all two-and-a-bit series of New girl over the last few days. I was going to start on Breaking Bad but I don’t think my brain fog will allow me to extend myself to such a mentally stimulating activity.

Valentines Day seems a more viable alternative..

…or maybe just Shrek.

Oh god, I’m starting to go cross eyed.

This post was supposed to be funny, this has very quickly descended into a insight into my flu-riddled brain. I’m so gonna regret posting this when I’m better.

*MUST SALVAGE POST*

Here have some e-cards…

Ha ha..

..this is funny…

Right?!

RIGHT?!

*Passes out*.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Freshers Flu 2.0…

  1. HAHAAHAHAH! :’D PLEASE! Don’t delete this post :’D It is the most hilarious one I have read :’DDD The pullover: I NEED IT! I am ill all the time! And I also want the world spin around me when sick. And as you have imagined: I am a user of capitol letters myself :’D

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s