We’re surrounded by bugs.
No not the the sickness kind (for once can you believe haven’t gotten ill this whole holiday *touches all the wood* not that kind of wood you filthy beggars).
Now when you consider the occupational hazards of working in the South or France I bet you wouldn’t think twice about being terrorised by six legged creatures.
We sat down to have dinner with one of the families staying here and very soon the menu changed form a respectable barbecue to Croquets a la (giant fucking) Beetle, Burger aux Moths and Gnat Sausages. YUM.
Every time a beetle hit a plate or bowl it made a loud chinking sound.
And at 2am, with empty bellies since lunch time and tipsy guests who didn’t much care about our bug companions, we had to dig in.
I still get flashbacks.
Where’s ant and dec?
This insect buffet was followed with a storm of flying ants that covered EVERYTHING with a thick coating.
Yes like the bible (but yo know…with ants).
No god was not trying to smite us.
We’re good girls.
And no they were not all dead by morning like they were supposed to be, they decided to stick around for the weather. We tried hosing them off and away but for the following days their hatchlings kindly made an appearance too.
Not only did we have to deal with creatures of a six Keyes kind but also the winged kind.
Where was the last time you saw a bat? Safe and sound behind a glass cage at tropical wings?
Have you ever had…say…100 of them flying at you?
Unbeknownst to us there was a little bat cave in the alcove of one of the cottages.
In order to get rid of them we had to light a barbecue and smoke them out.
(No bats were harmed in the making of this barbecue).
Well we expected one or two to fly off to safety. There was hundreds!
Duck and cover more like scream and run.
The group of us looked like the characters in the Sims when the house sets on fire, waving around panicking like twats without doing anything to help or moving out of the way.
This was followed by two separate pool cleaning incidents where we found mice in the pool filters.
Well I say we…Rachel found them. I ran away and refused to enter the danger zone.
Thank god for science students.
*Dons full protective clothing like on a crime scene*.