What does it spell?

Fuck off.

Jokes.

So I was just sitting here minding my own business, doing a bit of work when all of a sudden my iPad pinged up with a notification.

“Aunt Flow is coming”

Yes, I have a bloody app for it and yes that is the default message; I’m also told when my “flowers are blooming”. Stop judging me I have a terrible memory.

So it turns out that under a drug induced haze of Lemsip (aka nectar of the Gods) which I’ve been using for my horrific bout of flu, I have been experiencing PMS without the PMS. Halle-fucking-lujah.

Well, kind of.

I was wondering why I ended up coming back from the uni shop with three chocolate bars and two packets of sweets…especially when I don’t have a sweet tooth at all.

Don’t worry I didn’t eat them.

Yet.

Having gone to an all girls school, and now living in a flat with 5 other girls you kind of figure out what to avoid and when. I feel so sorry for the two guys in our flat who have to put up with all of us at our wrong time of the month.

The problem is, I don’t even know if I am a PMS monster…

I only want to murder half the people I talk to. That’s above average right?

Oh god I’m a terrible person.

*Cries*

*Drinks more Lemsip*.

P.S. Do you have any funny PMS stories? If so leave them in the comments below. I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it.