They’re dropping like flies…
I’ve just found out that a SECOND person from my school year has gotten engaged…at NINETEEN.
I, on the other hand, have decided to become a nun…
According to Wiki How all I need to do is be single (check), not be on my deathbed (check), lack any dependents (check) and be in good physical and financial standing (well if you ignore my overdraft and penchant for bacon sandwiches, check).
I then have to socialise with the “in group” of nuns, do research on the internet, attend a weekend at a Mother House and go through an initiation process…
…hang on a minute, this sounds suspiciously like rushing for a sorority.
Who would have thought…Wikipedia…unreliable?
Ok, so maybe I’m not going to spend the rest of my life in a convent…but you know you’ve got a problem when your fifty year old mother has a better sex life than you….
I spoke to her this morning on the phone…I was moaning about the fact I’m forever alone and she was all…
“Oh I’m so tired *yawns*, I was up all night with him”
“Oh we’re just popping over to Tenerife together for a few days to get a bit of sun”
*Throws up in plant pot*
If you can’t tell me and my best mate alcohol have been reunited over the past few days…
…well I had to do something to counteract the fact that I now own a Sainsbury’s Nectar card, spend my weeknights baking cookies and sometimes find the walk in heels to the club in town too much of an effort for it to be worth going out.
Hand me the Ovaltine and no one gets hurt.
Maybe its time to invest in that BOB.